overflow

4 Mar

I painted today, just for the hell of it. (For the yell of it.)
I’m no painter, and it’s actually a bit embarrassing to show this here. It looks like a ten year old did it. But I guess that’s the idea. I had such a grand ole’ sloppy time sketching and mixing colors and broadly slapping the paint on. The sea and sky turned out alright, but everything else is crooked, perhaps fittingly so. It was a lot of fun and was a relaxing way to spend an hour or two. (Instead of always being in front of the computer. Though I guess here I am, back again.) I might try at some later point to make a much better draft of this, if I can.
This is a painting of a Tarot card. I’ve had a kind of guilty relationship with Tarot for a while. I don’t use it for predictive purposes, more just for psychoanalytical purposes, to see where my thoughts gravitate to. There are many inspiring archetypes and yes I’ll say it, plenty of tropes to find within all the Tarot cards. I like the patterns and the categories of abstract symbols though. I like seeing, like I said, what my thoughts grab onto.
I’ve painted another Tarot card before: The Fool. This one is of the ‘Ace of Cups’. It came up this morning while I fooled around on my usual Tarot website. I felt like painting it. I took the image roughly (and I mean very roughly) off of another website. Obviously the Christian and Buddhist symbols of dove and lotus and light are rampant here, and that’s fine with me. 🙂
The Ace of Cups is the card where ‘the cup runneth over’ with an abundance of love and hope. It’s a card of optimism and intimacy and peace. It represent a state of being blessed and assured, and being able to offer accepting compassion for those around you. The Ace in Tarot is made up of the best of all that suit has to offer and the suit of Cups generally represent Love in its purest form.
The meaning of this for me now is obvious, but it is not because some new person has entered my heart. I simply feel open to what I have now and what may come. I am ready to keep moving and I am ready to no longer scrape for drops, to simply, very simply, look around me and see what Love I have and can have, from all around.
I am alone now, more than I have ever been, now that he is distancing from my life. And yet for a moment, I stop and see: I am running over, free.

Something opens our wings.
Something makes boredom and hurt disappear.
Somebody fills the cup in front of us.
We taste only sacredness.
–Jelaluddin Rumi

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One Response to “overflow”

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  1. overflow « Desire undisciplined - March 4, 2011

    […] of it. (For the yell of it.) I’m no painter, and it’s actually a bit embarrassing to show this here. Still I had such a grand ole’ sloppy time sketching and mixing colours and slapping the paint […]

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